Budgeting Essentials
How to Deal with Naysayers
When you are on your Debt Relief Journey, you will come across people who don’t understand what you are trying to accomplish. They are often the ones who have big plans, but never seem to follow through on them. They may even be friends and family members. Learn how to deal with them in today’s blog.
Let's say you are progressing well down the path of your Debt Relief Journey. You have taken the needed steps to get yourself going. You think that you are through the hard part and that people will be supportive of what you are doing.
Surprisingly out of the blue, your friends and family start complaining about how you are not fun anymore. They don’t understand when you remind them that the money that they want you to spend is not in your budget. Pressure builds from them. What do you do?
You have enough to do dealing with your own temptations to spend money that is not in your budget. So use these 5 steps to help you deal with naysayers in your life:
1. Expect people to resist you.
The first thing that you have to do is to realize that people are going to resist your commitment to get yourself out of debt. Your commitment to eliminate your debt is not a priority to them. They like spending money on meals, shopping and outings, even when they don’t have that money to spend.
You probably had that same mentality before you decided to eliminate your debt. So don’t be surprised if people resist what you are doing. By expecting resistance, you can prepare yourself to deal with it.
2. Have a plan for dealing with other people.
I don’t like surprises when I am dealing with other people. I do much better if I have time to think through what I am going to say. You may not be that way, but dealing with people can take a lot of time and emotional energy. When you are prepared to deal with others ahead of time, you save yourself a lot of time and energy. You will need your energy for dealing with your debt reduction.
Keep in mind that your plans need to be different depending upon who you are dealing with. With friends, your plan may be to cut the conversation short and catch up with them later. If you are at a family gathering, you may need to be prepared to change the subject. The key is to prepare yourself ahead of time so you can react quickly and not get side tracked. You never have to be mean. Using a friendly face and demeanor, you can stick to your goals, say no when you must and still maintain friendly relationships.
3. Be prepared to step away.
There may be situations where you are not able to divert the other person and you will have to step away. This is important because you get what you focus on. If you stay in the other person’s company too long, they may talk you into doing something that doesn’t get you closer to achieving your goal of paying down your debt. Others can get you looking at things that take you away from your goals. These distractions may even be temptations that you are already dealing with. By stepping away, you can keep your focus on your goal and away from the distractions safely.
Be prepared to be polite, but firm when dealing with others. You don’t have to explain yourself. By stepping away, you avoid confrontations. You may have to stop spending so much time with these people while you are on your journey. Remember the more focused you are on your goal, the sooner you will be debt free and able to start doing things with those people again.
4. Don’t get mad at them.
Getting mad or emotional with the person is just another distraction that keeps you from focusing on your goal. This is not their goal, so it is not as important to them as it is to you. They are used to the old you that accepted debt and living paycheck to paycheck. They may be surprised by your commitment to getting out of debt. This is a new side of you that they may not have seen before, so be understanding of them even if they don’t understand what you are doing.
Don’t waste the time and energy it takes to be mad at them. Keep your focus on your goal, not on being mad at them.
5. Forgive them.
If something is said or done that isn’t just right, make up your mind ahead of time to be forgiving and ignore what happens. You aren’t trying to eliminate people from your life permanently. You may have to stay away for a while so you can achieve your goal, but again, be polite and loving, but firm. All of us do things that we wish we wouldn’t have, give them the benefit of your doubt.
Use these 5 steps to prepare yourself for dealing with the naysayers as you travel on your Debt Relief Journey. Remember the sooner you achieve your goal, the sooner you can add back the things that are important to you!
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Anything you tolerate becomes normal to you. When you stop tolerating debt, you increase your ability to function without it. You can get yourself debt free. It will take you some time, but the end is worth it!- Dan Heiland
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© 2019 Dan Heiland 2019 Kat Heil, LLC